I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
