That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
