Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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