Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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