My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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