After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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