New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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