He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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