Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
