i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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