So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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