What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
