he wants to bone in the snuggie
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
