I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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