I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
