I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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