physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
