But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
