people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She bit a glass in half.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
