Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
