Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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