Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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