my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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