I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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