So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
