Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
