Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
