I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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