I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I could fuck to npr.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
