She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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