i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
