just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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