I heard we made out
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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