I hope mine doesn't look like that
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
