I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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