Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Two words: nipple clamps
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