shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
