I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
