Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
