yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
