We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You are a genius and a whore.
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