Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
