Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
