worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
