its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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