She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
