I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
