Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
