dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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