You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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