I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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